New starts, idling and and enjoying the view…
My life has been so… interrupted I want to say. I feel like I’m barely coming out of a period of serious upheaval. As in.. couldn’t go one day without really worrying or more like planning something out seriously. Too much brain power expended if you ask me.
It started with a 5.5 year relationship ending. Then having to start my life over because I just so happened to be stepping into a wonderful new career at the same time. Moving out and figuring out what to do with all kinds of shared things is just no fun. I left as much behind as I could and I really don’t miss anything. I feel I could’ve left with the clothes on my back and been fine.
I have been in my new position for almost 2 months now. It wanes. Sometimes I am super busy and have to get serious about prioritizing, then there are days like today where I had a good four hours to do absolutely nothing. I mean, I could’ve re-organized some files, or researched the competition, or made sales calls. I felt I was pretty well caught up and just wanted to be there for the sake of being there today. I love the responsibility that I have. I am there by myself a lot of days from opening the front door to locking up at night. Such a feeling of freedom. I am blessed.
Maybe two weeks after my last relationship ended, I was introduced to a new girl. My first thoughts were, whoa! this is way too early. Something kept me questioning who she could turn out to be and I couldn’t stop wondering if I should say forget timeframes and see what happens. SO I did of course, continue to get to know her that is. And its turned into something very beautiful.
Freedom. She lets me feel free. Free from worry, free from doubt, free from guilt and pressure. Maybe because its still so new, or maybe just because she is what I was looking for and this is how falling in love is supposed to feel all the time. Free.
I’m in a good place in my life. Thank you God for helping to place me in this wonderful time. I love my job. I’m growing in knowledge and professionalism every day, at the same time getting close to people and being able to be counted on.
I love my new smaller apartment and the view of the pond and trees off the patio. Its really pretty and peaceful.
I love this feeling I’m getting in my new relationship, of just idling and enjoying each day.
Yup. Life is good. Really good. Wherever you are, tell yourself what you want and express that you are willing to do whatever it takes and poof! Watch changes start to make way for the new life you’ve asked for. It can be rough, but if you hold out its definitely worth the ride.
Night.
Higher salary means nothing to an empty heart
This statement really called to me. Something primal inside of me will not settle for unhappiness at the price of a few nicer things. I have always been the kind to humble myself and do what I find happiness in and see if it takes me to where I can prosper.
I have been at my current call center job for 8 months now. The first 2 were great. The next 2 were ok and I started to see the difference in my energy level. The 2 after that I started to really dislike what I do.. it just doesn’t resinate with me and I have no motivation to do the things my coaches and managers are so gung ho about. The last couple months have been a mind game to wake up every morning and force myself to think positive. I am actively on the jub hunt. Yes… Again.
I can’t say enough good things about my co-workers and the staff overall. There are hundreds of us in the building and there’s not one person that really rubbed me the wrong way. Everyone is great and I will miss a lot of people’s energy around my work space when I leave. But in this huge corporation, overall I am just an employee number. One of any dispensable people that sits with the headset on all day.
And if I may get to the real reason… I work with billing. People all too often yell at me for things I did not do, blame the delinquent status of their account on me, tell me sobb stories to get what they want when the stories are just made up, complete BS, and talk over me like I am not even a human. I love helping people, but collection work is NOT FOR ME.
I love getting older because little by little I am finding what makes my heart sing and I know I am on the right track. My heart sings with the thought of walking out of call center purgatory and into a lower paying job that gives me room to think, and allows me to actually smile at people again. Can’t wait.
Currently, I am scheduled to interview next week for a position I have wanted since I moved to this city. It would be a 25% pay cut, and that’s harsh on the pockets… but when I looked at my budget I realized I am just spending a few hundred dollars a month on nothing. If I can pull that spending in a little tighter, I won’t even notice the difference because all my regular living expenses are still taken care of.
The pay-off is worth the pay-cut. I would be doing something I really wanted to for quite some time. I will get to spend evening home and with the ones I care about. I can just feel the stress starting to roll of my shoulders with these thoughts. Wishful thinking… it is within reach.
Once I have a new job I plan to dive into other areas on this blog like love, numerology, travel, spirituality, God, gay rights, the modern age… Stay tuned.
I appreciate the ‘ear’ and hope you can relate and get something out of my blog, if not just the feeling of knowing you’re not the only one that goes through this crazy thing we call life.
God Bless and see you all soon
Follow the yellow brick road..
Thanks for the pic that says a million words from Crystal<3 on Flickr. I’m in awe of the way life can pick up out of nowhere. So much like Dorothy…
Dorothy was so much like me! lol One day you’re on a farm, doing mundane things… a little stressed about nonsense that you wish you could change. Then something incredibly unexpected comes out of nowhere and changes everything.
Now everything is clearer-and in vivid color- no less. You suddenly are on your way, meeting people that are so willing to help you, seeing things you didn’t think you would. Or at least anytime soon.
I love that Dorothy didn’t consider where else to go. She just followed the yellow brick road cause at the end was promised the answer. Strangely, as we all know, she was always her own answer. But how was she supposed to know? She just needed some guidance.
I’ve always been the kind of girl to want to find my own way and claim the prize. I’ve gone through job ups and downs and always wanted a job/career where I could be in charge of the amount of work I take on and not be told what to do much. I just finished my second week of training in a new job where I really have to go by a set schedule and set of policies. Its really different for me.
The way the company is structured, its so much more than following rules, though. It’s setting a goal, creating win-win situations, and using your personality to make it work. I feel very in control and very supported at the same time. I love that there are people around me helping me to be a better me. It just feels nice.
There’s a pattern of progression, too, that led me to see it as my yellow brick road. I know the end is promised to give me the answers I really need. I know compared to this path, the sidelines look pale. I see how people are coming out of nowhere to help me along. I don’t really know what is toward the end, who else I’ll meet, or what to do next. Its one day at a time and I’m ok. Finally, I found a balance of being in charge of my work, and being responsible to someone else at the same time. I am so excited to travel on this road!!
I know I’m not “supposed” to write a blog on tumblr… Think of my blog like the articles in Playboy… sometimes you want to read, too! lol What I get out of all this, is what I want to share with all of you… is to feel it out and just keep it moving. Have faith that you have the answer inside of you. Don’t seek others to give you the answer, but do embrace those that are willing to help you find it yourself. The saying goes, “you can give a man a fish and he eats for a day, you teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime”. SO true.
Even if you don’t have so much faith in yourself. Think of what you DO want!! and when you make the small decisions every day think of these things you want before you get to your answer. The thought inside of your head -even unconsciously- will help you make the right decision for you. Try your very best not to second guess. Just make the decision and take one step at a time to follow through. Give it a good effort! The more you put in, is entirely the amount you get out. Somewhere in there if you really don’t think its for you, look towards having something else you want to pursue… just keep it moving. Have faith, in yourself, in the process, in life, in others.
Its not usually great to be a follower, but in the case of your own yellow brick road, (and Tumblr) sometimes its the perfect way to enrich your life.
Source: http
DO rebuild your bridges..
So this week I’m in the middle of a deep and winding job hunt. Last week, I interviewed with a law firm for an administrative position. I’ve done that kind of job and can really kick ass in the position. This week, today actually, I went to an interview at one of the larger cell phone providers for a financial care position. I love numbers and I love talking to people so I think that one could be rocked, too. Haha. I notice I have a lot of faith in my self. Great.
A background check is in the works for both of them. Meaning I am being considered for employment pending the results are favorable! Great news.
This makes me nervous.
I had a bleep back in the day and sometimes I’m concerned that if an employer comes across it, they will not be able to cross it. Considering this apprehension with my past, I wanted to contact previous employers so that at least I knew the employment verification part of the background would go smoothly.
I thought I left my last 4 jobs on decent terms..but not wonderful. Got fired from one for talking back to a customer. I HAD to do that. Let me tell you, that customer was one of those self righteous happiness vacuums that just had took it waaaay to far. I have patience, but she tried to take my dignity. My managers actually weren’t too mad about it, either.
At the next job, I quit on the day of a really important event. Another instance where common courtesy was lacking. That was bad. I left a note with the keys on his desk.
The next I was fired after they downsized. The most recent, I quit after fulfilling one of a two week resignation notice. Not bad on those two.
So, I actually contacted all of these employers to give them a heads up that they would be contacted for date and wage verification. I was as nice as possible. The funny thing is that my niceness was genuine. I didn’t hold any kind of grudges… I treated them all as if they just relived the best memory I have of them with me.
I just feel amazing now. For about 5 years, I’ve been oblivious to what impression I left with these people or if they just hated me for leaving. Turns out I left a much better impression than I ever imagined. They greeted me warmly, wished me well, and told me how happy they were for me. What an incredible boost of confidence to know your trainers, managers, and teachers all have good memories of you.
I really tore myself up sometimes about “letting these people down”. I guess my expectations of myself are too high? Other people see the best in me… sigh. That’s just how life should always be.
At this point I just have to highly recommend you touch base with anyone in your past..especially in your professional path. What would you say? Hi, I am writing to express my gratitude for the experience you’ve allowed me to have with you. I look back and realize I would not be me without your part in it. And I thank you and wish you well. LOL Or whatever words you want! ::wink:: WHY? Once you make peace with the past, you can finally move on to the future. Not only move toward it, but with a greater sense of confidence and accomplishment than you’ve ever had.
Vision and Perception… in my job hunt. And yours.
For almost 2 years now, I have been on a job hunt. Not to say I haven’t had a job in all this time… I’ve been employed 12 of the last 15 months. BUT even with a job under my belt that I did well and had experience at, I knew I wanted something else.
When I talk about Vision, I’m talking about the ability to see past whats apparent. That creativity that allows you to think of the “what if’s”. When you look at a job posting, it has to be something you can feel comfortable doing, or at least see yourself doing. I think its equally important that you can see perks and avenues with that job. Can you pick up extra interesting projects, will you get free stationary, will your co-worker’s be awesome and funny, will it end up being the greatest job you’ve had in a long time, even though on paper it may seem blah and out of your desired field??
When trying out new careers or considering many job titles… know that nothing is forever, most things change, and you can make each job as fruitful and rewarding as you can…even if you decide to do something else later.
Perception. Its how you choose to see and feel about something. If you were a doorman at a NYC hirise apartment building you can see that two ways. One- I’m a person who is standing at this door, waiting to hold open doors and take people’s bags. The highlight of my day may be a large tip that I get when I hail a cab for a tenant. UGH. What am I doing? OR you can see it very differently. Two- I’m a person with natural good manners and a love for talking to all kinds of different people. I’m the kind of stranger who waves to you on the street so this job actually suits me. I keep unwanted visitors away and am there to hold the door open just when you think you’ll drop all your bags. I enjoy helping people and this is a great job for me.
Might be the same person. But two very different ways to see the same thing.
I’m coming to my own realization that what I do is the important thing. Not my job title, not the tasks I do. What I do for others is what I should focus on and the way I feel about the help I give to others. (Which should be wonderful.)
I’ve tweaked my vision and I’m almost able to see great outcomes of any situation. If I’m a super analytical type always pulling things apart, and I can do this…tweaking. Then you can, too.
So if you’re like me, in a job hunt and don’t know what to make of it, what titles to look for, what industry you want to give a shot… put some crazy words in that search bar that describe who you are. Enthusiastic. Organized. Meticulous. Professional. Whatever it is… you’ll see jobs pop up that are suited to who you are, not what you are looking for. This new approach, along with a vision for making the most of anything will have you in a spot you can really appreciate in no time. Good luck!
Stepping into my shoes.
You have to admit at some point you were just a wee bit intimidated at putting your thoughts to a page that the world has access to, no? Well, excuse me, sir. I am.
I’m getting over it. I finally see that in order for me to have the things I want in the future, I have to put them there one decision at a time. Somehow this new blog is connected with the future. I feel like I have a voice now. The world can hear me and read my new notebook. 
